Its Ok to Speak Up!

Ok I was pondering on what would be my first topic of discussion on this blog & I have to admit because there are so many things that I want to say I may just post something everyday. In the meantime let me give you some food for thought........


I sat and watch Oprah today (something I rarely do) and she had Mo'Nique's brother on the show speaking about him molesting his sister. Now I can't help but wonder why did he feel like he needed to come on Oprah to express his thoughts, feelings, intentions and opinions. Well that is something that I will never know but there is one thing that I could relate to. That is the feeling a person gets once they realize what has happend to them, how it makes them feel, and how they are supposed to carry on with the rest of their lives after being violated.

You see I haven't seen the movie "Precious" and I don't plan on seeing it either. Why would I want to relive something so tradgic? I believe that a person like myself, Oprah & Mo'Nique wouldn't really want to revisit such a horrible time in our lives. However with that being said here are some things I would like to share with you as food for thought.

Now they say 1 out of 4 females are molested. Those odds are alarming! I think people should be mad about it actually. But what are you supposed to do when your child comes to you & say mom/dad I have been touched. No matter how young or old, no matter who did the touching, what are you to do when your child comes to you & say those words????

I'm not sure if my answer is the right answer but I would want to kill the person. I believed that the person that touched me should have died. POINT BLANK END OF STORY! Those are my feelings! If you don't like it oh well.

So as I watched Oprah & listened to Mo'Nique's parents speak about how they asked him to leave, and when he came back 2 weeks later everything went back to normal. NORMAL? What was Mo'Nique supposed to do? She was 15 when she told. I was 5 when I told & still had to see the person for years before anything ever happened him. You see just like her brother my molester is serving time for touching someone else. SOMEONE ELSE??? Why didn't it end with her & me? Why did another little girl have to feel that pain? Why didn't my parents put him in jail then? Why didn't her parents? Those are the questions that I'll never understand. Maybe because its family??????

So now I'm older and I wonder what would my life be like if that never happended to me. Her brother said he did it because it was done to him, the person that touched me I found out later that someone touched him. Now I can't speak for anyone else but myself but I don't go around molesting others because it was done to me. What a lame ass excuse!!!!

So I wonder is this why my relationships with men last for a short period of time? Is this why I'm not married yet? What severe impact has this trauma played in my life? Will I be able to fight through the feelings & get them out like Mo'Nique did in the movie "Precious"? Will I use my feeling of anger, hurt and hatred to become a successful talk show host like Oprah? How do I channel this energy into something positive that will inspire and help others?

When I told my mom I watched the show today, she asked me why? I thought I would understand why he did it and it would give me closure from my own experiences. She said that I shouldn't have watched it but right now I beg to differ. You see it brought back so many unpleasant memories, but it was the inspiration for my first posting.

I'M SPEAKING VOLUME RIGHT NOW!
I'm not a talk show host or an actress or even someone famous but I am a person with a voice. I am the one that used my voice before I had to experience years of molestation. I used my voice to tell immediately. So to whomever is reading this I hope that you can share this with someone else. I hope that I can be the voice for someone else who is afraid to speak. Use my voice if you can't use yours to tell someone that something bad is happening to you.

ERICA SPEAKS VOLUME!